Many people believe that loving themselves is a selfish act and too narcissistic. In fact, loving yourself is not a selfish act. If you don't respect yourself then how can you respect others? You love your parents, your sweetheart, and your friends but how much you love yourself? You should know that loving yourself will give you an understanding of how to love others sincerely. You certainly can understand others' shortcomings if you can understand your own shortcomings, right? Here are 10 signs you don't love yourself:
1. Letting others to take advantage of you
Consciously or not, most people who socialize with you will always test your boundaries. When you don't have clear boundaries, which ones you accept and which ones you don't, it will allow others to take advantage of you by draining your energy and could be, your wealth as well. The more often you let it happen, the worse you will be exploited by others. Be firm for your own good.
2. Giving more than receiving
Unless you work for a charity, giving too much and receiving less than you deserve indicates that you lack self-esteem. This situation often occurs when you want to be liked and accepted by others so that you constantly give something with the hope of getting lots of praise and they will be attracted to you. In another case, if this happens in your workplace, then it means the company doesn't appreciate you.
3. Not thinking of yourself
Not thinking of yourself seems to be an unselfish attitude, then why it is included in the list? Simple, if you get sick, can you help others? If you don't care for yourself, can you care for others effectively? Take for instance when you're on a plane, the flight attendants will teach the passengers to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping your child to put the oxygen mask on. Help yourself to help others.
4. Not having plans for the future
This is really sad if it happens. You're confused about your future and your life filled with the words "I don't know". When someone asks, what is your ambition? What's your biggest dream? What do you want to be? Your answer is "I don't know". First you must recognize yourself properly, and then dreaming, planning, acting, and celebrating.
5. Not being clear to others about what you want and need
Besides saying "I don't know", people who have this sign will often say "it's up to you". Maybe you think that you don't want to bother others or don't want to hurt their feelings. But if you constantly bury what you want and need, there will be frustration and resentment, and miscommunication with others.
6. Limiting yourself
It means you're preventing yourself to grow. You judge yourself unable to do a job when you've never actually done it or you feel that you don't deserve the one you love. Thoughts like this won't make you a better human being because you live in the comfort zone.
7. Receiving a bad influence from your neighborhood
Neighborhoods typically have a large influence on the development of a person. But a mature person can distinguish between good and bad influences. Receiving a bad influence just the same as not loving yourself because you do something that will hurt yourself in the future.
8. Letting someone else control your life
Basically human beings are independent. They have their own bodies, souls, and minds. Unfortunately, many people choose to live as puppet, controlled by their masters. They always do whatever their masters told, good or bad. Normally, their masters are people who have high status or may be, their loved ones. You know what, actually this is a fear... Fear of losing their jobs or their loved ones. If you are these kind of people, know that you're a modern person, you don't live in the era of slavery, you have a right to control your own life.
9. Not trying to fix your shortcomings
You know that you have shortcomings but you don't try to fix them. Bad habits and behaviors are something you can fix when you're already aware of them. Don't always use excuse like "nobody's perfect". There will always be shortcomings, no matter how hard you try. But it is the purpose of human life, to keep learning. Live from zero to hero and die still as a hero.
10. Hating your weaknesses and ignoring your strengths
People who always spend time to complain and moan about their weaknesses, will fail to see their strengths. Just imagine if Stevie Wonder and Andrea Bocelli who are blind, Nick Vujicic who was born without arms and legs, or Stephen Hawking whose motor nerves are not functioning properly, constantly complain about their disabilities, can they become successful figures? God is righteous, He won't create humans who can't do anything. Humans have their own paths to success. Now everything depends on yourself, have you tried to stop complaining and tried to develop your strengths?
Those are 10 signs you don't love yourself. Remember that you are a candle, you won't be able to brighten the world around you if you don't glow brightly. You must love yourself before loving others. Have a nice day!