What is self talk? Self-talk is the human mind that communicate and talk to themselves by evaluating and perceiving something. Self-talk doesn't mean talking with our mouth like when we talk to other people, but talking with our thoughts that exist in our heads. Self-talk itself can be categorized into two types: positive and negative. Positive self-talk can improve our self-esteem, happiness, and motivation. While negative self-talk can make us feel desperate, frightened, anxious, and sad.
Consciously or not, we keep doing self-talk throughout the day and our life. The voice in our heads and our conversations with our minds inspire us to act in certain situations. Approve or reject, appropriate or inappropriate, can or can't, love or hate, those are the examples of our actions, which usually begin with self-talking. What are the negative effects of negative self-talk?
1. Thinking about the worst
What if I fail? What if I can't do it? What if he doesn't like me? What if I'm not accepted? When you're talking like these to yourself, then you're already in the path of failure. Thinking about the worst will only make you anxious about something that is not necesarrily happen.
Stereotyping or generalizing everything. We put something or someone in the same category regardless of each individual. "All men are the same", "All men only like beautiful women", "All women are falling in love with money only". As a result, you will often feel paranoid about something and it's not good for your relationship. You also don't realize that everyone is born unique.
3. Thinking in extremes
Exaggerating things with words like always and never. "I never could do that!", "I always fail!", "I always hated!". When you always think in extremes and something unreal, you will feel hopeless when doing something.
4. Living in the past
Always felt sorry for the incident or mistake in the past without trying to move on. You keep repeating words like "If only I could turn back time", "If only I didn't accept it, surely I won't suffer like this" and so forth. When you constantly say these words to yourself, you will never grow in a positive direction because you always look back and regret.
5. Limiting yourself
You're not confident to do greater things. "I can't do that, I'm not that smart", "I think I will always stuck in this circumstances". By limiting yourself, you don't realize that every human being created to do great things. Problem is only exist in human mind.
6. Jumping to conclusion
When we're in an uncomfortable situation, we will make assumptions and conclusions that don't necessarily occur. "He won't like me, I'm ugly", "I looked like an idiot when talking to her". Jumping to conclusion makes us afraid or ashamed to do something.
Daydreaming is thinking of something fun, imagining, reflecting, and hope for something while we are awake. Actually daydreaming often used by writers, composers, novelists, filmmakers to generate ideas and works. But often many people trapped in a daydream and when confronted with how to realize their dreams, they will feel inferior and then daydreaming again. They constantly trapped in an endless loop.
8. Other's thoughts become part of yourself
Self-talk is usually influenced by something from outside such as parents, friends, or people who have big influence. Their thoughts will become part of our self-talk. When they plant a good thing then it won't be a problem. but when negative thoughts like "It's very difficult, you won't be able to do that", "you don't deserve it," become part of your self-talk as well, then your mind is not yours anymore.
Those are 8 negative effects of negative self-talk.